I decided last night I would play a prank for April Fool’s Day. The boys left their scooters out and I thought this would be the perfect way to teach them to put things away. So I hid them. In my storage room, I had the scooters placed there for safe keeping. I was thrilled! Spring Break would be lovely if they could enjoy riding their scooters but carelessness prevented that from happening. They need to learn responsibility from an early age and I thought this would be a good way to teach them about valuables.
Well imagine my surprise this morning when I told M’khai that I think the scooters were stolen. He wasn’t convinced. He swore up and down he put it away. I told him I saw them out there late last night and by morning, they were gone.
He turns to me and says “well it’s ok, my birthday is coming up soon and I will be getting something new to play with.” #FML
What is wrong with this kid? I went off. Could I possibly be spoiling him? This is no one’s fault but my own. Just a few weeks ago I told him to clean his room and he said “but isn’t Marta (the cleaning lady) coming this week.” WTF? Ok Richie Rich!
I have to do something so he gets it. I will be blogging about it because this will be a challenge. I have a few ideas but I would love some help. I welcome all suggestions! This has to be fixed!
Happy April Fool’s Day!
There are a few things I am willing to sit in jail over, I can count them on five fingers. Give two fingers to my children which would leave me with only three strong causes. Just yesterday I got into a discussion on how I handle altercations at school. When I am notified that a situation could be escalating to something physical in school, I call the school and let them know my rules. I teach my kids to self defend. Don’t be the instigator. Rather, if all else fails and you must use your hands, do it only when your personal space is violated or physical well being is compromised. I have no time for bullies. I cannot nor will I defend you if you come home telling me some nonsense about this person was talking trash and you got so angry, you hit them. No, it does not work like that.
Secondly, after I have a talk with the school, I go to the child’s home so that all involved parties are aware of what is happening while my child is in school seeking an education. This is where accountability comes in. I am making you aware of what is happening in school so you can’t at any point say, you didn’t know. I don’t send my children to school to fight. While I get things may happen, that is my role, I am both the enforcer and the resolver and I make that very clear to the parents. It is at this very point that I know how the situation will be resolved. You see, right after I make that statement it could get either really ugly or remain cordial. It’s a tough situation to place yourself in unless you already know that you are willing to sit in a jail for your child.
The first time I had to go to a child’s house. The parents were not present in the child’s life. The young man lived with his grandmother and she was working two jobs to try and stay afloat. While she’s working, the young man is home with his sister with no supervision. She can’t afford to lose her job or have it jeopardized in anyway so coming up the school is a no-no. So after my schpeel, she turns to her grandson and says ” I told you if you have to fight, do it off of school grounds”
**PAUSE**
I obviously wasn’t clear in my message. You see when I said he’s not fighting, I did not mean I had an issue with the venue, I meant there will be a fight, but it will not involve my child-I will fight your kid. I told her just that. I turned to her grandson and told him that as well-just so we were all on the same page.
It broke my heart to read this story about this little girl who committed suicide due to fellow students bullying her. While I am happy to see the students being charged, why aren’t the parents being charged as well? I hear it all the time on the news “bullying today is far different from back in the day” and I know how mean kids could be! So imagine if it was bad back then, with the addition of social media sites and new outlets for bullying, the possibilities are endless and the damage far worse!
Equally as baffling is the school’s involvement. ”The bullying of Phoebe was common knowledge to most of the student body and to certain faculty, staff and administrators, Scheibel said. At least four students and two faculty members had intervened during the harassment, but the school’s code of conduct was inconsistently enforced, she said.”
How did it come to this?
Let me show you something. I draw reference to wild animals because that is the only analogy I could use for how serious I am. I could never, go up to a lion or a bear in the wild (or in a damn zoo for that matter) and taunt a cub. Never. They protect on instinct and so do I. This is not about your child learning to deal with their own problems and conflict resolution. A conflict is such and such took my pencil and didn’t gave it back. A situation is you following my child in the hallway and/or home and harassing them. I deal with situations. There are some kids that keep to themselves and you could never know what’s going on inside. I am grateful my kids tell me about their day but just so that I stay on top of everything, I make surprise visits to the school. I hang out in the hallway-please believe it. It sounds crazy but I know why I am doing it. I visit the pages and check the statuses on Facebook of my child and his friends. I make a conscious effort to know what’s going on.
As a mom, I feel for Phoebe’s mom and family. That is a pain I never want to feel. I would rather sit in a jail than have to bury my child. When it comes to my little ones, I am like Malcom X, by ANY means necessary.
Parents should be held accountable for the actions of their kids. If you are a parent that is aware of your child bullying and you haven’t done something about it, shame on you. Be very glad that your children and mine are not in the same school district.
